Its amazing how times flies - I can't believe it has been four months since I last wrote a blog. I am amazed that it is nearly the school summer holiday again and that my littlest girls turned three this month. Where does the time go?
Parenting is a funny thing. I think I have spent half of the last four and a half years feeling like I need a break - some space on my own to read a book, to drink a cup of tea before it goes cold, to watch some telly without interruption, to go to the toilet on my own, to just have some quiet... And the other half wishing the girls would fit in to my favourite dress a little bit longer, or still say words in a wrong but incredibly cute way.
In September Beth starts full time school and poppy and Bella will be at nursery five mornings a week. I'm dreading it!! Life still has its challenges but we are out of the baby phase and I no longer feel like I'm drowning (well not all the time anyway). People keep telling me I won't know what to do with myself - I'm sure I will find plenty of things - but in some ways I know what them mean. I have been consumed by my beautiful family for the last few years and i'm sure it will take a while to adjust to not having them around as much.
A good friend had a word over me recently - to see my family as other people see them - their beauty, their uniqueness, what a gift they are. It's a challenge sometimes to enjoy our kids when we are so emotionally involved in their well being and when, quite frankly, it is hard work. But I'm learning that times flies, and I won't get it back. So I will determine to enjoy my girls and delight in them as my heavenly Father delights in me (even when I'm a pain in the bum).
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them." Psalm 127: 3-5
Monday, 20 May 2013
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
Singing when the evening comes
This afternoon we are headed to an appointment to find out if Bethy is going to need surgery on her hips this year. Beth was diagnosed with hip dysplasia when she was 3 months old and had treatment for it at 6 months. We thought the problems were fixed but at a routine check up in 2010 found out they weren't.
When we first found out about Beth's hips we didn't handle it very well. Looking at it rationally now, we know we are so incredibly blessed to have three healthy girls, but back then all we could really see was that are first baby was going to need surgery and it felt like the biggest thing in the world. We prayed and prayed and prayed for a miraculous healing from God, and I really felt like I had the faith for it, but God chose to take us on a different path and it was a big lesson in how to trust a God who doesn't always do what you think is the best thing. And now we find ourselves in a similar position - facing the unknown, praying for healing and asking that God would help us to know peace whatever the future holds.
Things I know about God are that He is mysterious, that He doesn't always allow us to understand our situations, and that He is good all the time. I recently found myself pondering how God could let His own son suffer on the cross- it bothered me. How could a supposedly loving God not prevent the death of his own child? But something clicked this week - the story of the cross isn't about God not loving his son enough, it's about God loving us infinitely more - humbling HIMSELF and giving of himself in the most sacrificial way possible to redeem us. This blew me away. It's not like I hadn't realised it before, but it hit me afresh.
One of my dear friends reminded me - do not harden your heart towards God, and on the same morning another friend preached a message at church about the ability to have instant closeness with our heavenly father when we trust in all that He is.
It doesn't always feel easy to trust in God completely, especially when we face hardship. But I am learning more and more that it feels like I can breathe more easily when I surrender my worry to God and draw near to Him, especially when the worry is about my precious children. When we lift our eyes, we let our heavenly Father show us how he loves.
My prayer today is that we know the presence of the Lord as we draw close and experience His tangible presence, and that we are still singing when the evening comes.
"A child is never so well but when he is in his mother's lap or under his father's wing. So with us in the presence of God and getting into the bosom of the heavenly Father. O, let us not forget our heavenly Father's house." Thomas Manton
When we first found out about Beth's hips we didn't handle it very well. Looking at it rationally now, we know we are so incredibly blessed to have three healthy girls, but back then all we could really see was that are first baby was going to need surgery and it felt like the biggest thing in the world. We prayed and prayed and prayed for a miraculous healing from God, and I really felt like I had the faith for it, but God chose to take us on a different path and it was a big lesson in how to trust a God who doesn't always do what you think is the best thing. And now we find ourselves in a similar position - facing the unknown, praying for healing and asking that God would help us to know peace whatever the future holds.
Things I know about God are that He is mysterious, that He doesn't always allow us to understand our situations, and that He is good all the time. I recently found myself pondering how God could let His own son suffer on the cross- it bothered me. How could a supposedly loving God not prevent the death of his own child? But something clicked this week - the story of the cross isn't about God not loving his son enough, it's about God loving us infinitely more - humbling HIMSELF and giving of himself in the most sacrificial way possible to redeem us. This blew me away. It's not like I hadn't realised it before, but it hit me afresh.
One of my dear friends reminded me - do not harden your heart towards God, and on the same morning another friend preached a message at church about the ability to have instant closeness with our heavenly father when we trust in all that He is.
It doesn't always feel easy to trust in God completely, especially when we face hardship. But I am learning more and more that it feels like I can breathe more easily when I surrender my worry to God and draw near to Him, especially when the worry is about my precious children. When we lift our eyes, we let our heavenly Father show us how he loves.
My prayer today is that we know the presence of the Lord as we draw close and experience His tangible presence, and that we are still singing when the evening comes.
"A child is never so well but when he is in his mother's lap or under his father's wing. So with us in the presence of God and getting into the bosom of the heavenly Father. O, let us not forget our heavenly Father's house." Thomas Manton
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