Did you ever have one of those moments where someone asks you what you do, and when you tell them you're a mum you can literally see them switch off?! I don't think people mean to do it - I guess it doesn't help that we live in a society which doesn't seem to put much value on staying at home to raise your kids. This feeling is not always helped by the fact that being at home with the kids all day often makes you feel that you're defined by your children! So many of my mum friends have said things about losing a sense of their identity when they become stay - at - home mums.
I think there is a time when your maternity leave finishes, and you realise that you are in this for the long haul, that feels quite scary. I have often found myself explaining to people why I stay at home with the girls as though it is something to apologise for - which is the most crazy thing!! I felt called by God to be at home with our kids in the day and it really helps to know that it is a high calling and that I can do it for God's glory. I guess that rather than losing our identity we take on a new one, and other passions go on the back burner for a while. This sometimes gets me frustrated - to be passionate about so many things but not doing anything about them because frankly I don't have the energy!! But actually I have to remind myself that this is a season - a season for raising my children, helping to provide for them and trying to do it well.
A friend of mine (also a mum) wrote me a card before I had the twins. It said this, "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to stay healthy. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to clean the house, give a dinner party and mend the door handle. Take care of the stones first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
I am learning that on those days where I feel I'm 'just a mum', I need to thank God that he has called me to such an important job, and ask for the wisdom to prioritise and to do it well.
Hi Lou, I wrote a comment on your last post. I just read this and wondered if you have had the next question, "Oh, so you don't work then?" You have just been up half the night, the sink is full of dishes and pans, you gave up the ironing pile long ago and you have 3 toddlers to wash and dress - and that is before you even have time to do your own hair! And people think you are just lounging around!!Stay-at-home mums are the ones who really know what work is about! And your precious little girls are ever going to be thankful that you are home with them now. I am praying that Jesus just soaks you in HIS love and appreciation right now!! You are doing the most valuable job in the whole world! Love Cx
ReplyDeleteYep - when Olly was born almost everyone asked me when Anna 'stopped working.' They met a stony expression :-)
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